One of my favorite places in Los Angeles is The Getty Center, which is known for its architecture, vast collection of pre-19th century European paintings, sculpture, decorative art, gardens, and the center’s stunning views overlooking Los Angeles.
The Getty Center started out as J. Paul Getty’s house, which is a fact that will continue to haunt me because I am jealous and want to live there too. Mr. J. Paul Getty was a business tycoon who founded the Getty Oil Company in 1942 and became the richest living American in 1957. He was an avid collector of antiquities and art from Europe, especially ancient Greece and Rome, which are on display in the Getty Museum and Getty Villa.
When the sublime and the works of the old masters are staring at you in the face, the stomach must respond. Unfortunately, on my day of visit, The Getty’s only dining options were a single cafe stand selling coffee, other hot beverages, and sandwiches. The restaurant and terrace level cafe were closed for the day.
I purchased my $15 turkey sandwich, which I guess is reasonable, considering the museum’s free admission, but upsetting, considering I am not in possession of a 7 billion dollar trust. I had pictured myself eating the sandwich in the open seating area in The Getty plaza, with its fountains and white marble serving as a backdrop to my artistic endeavors, while a blue sky, and the Los Angeles sun, lit up my hopes for the rest of the day. I could not live up to my dreams because The Getty is high up in the mountains and it was windy as hell. My hair was getting all over my mouth while I was trying to eat. I did not take a photo of my turkey sandwich because of the environmental conditions, so picture two diagonally cut pieces of bread with a slice of American cheese, turkey deli meat, lettuce, and tomato between them.
The turkey tasted like nothing. I was not upset by this because, honestly, who expects to be fed well at an art museum. The issue was, I only became hungrier as my time at The Getty went on. Here are the things that made me hungry at The Getty.
Abalone
I love abalone and all shellfish. And artist Mercedes Dorame’s six foot tall suspended installation of abalone shells, titled Woshaa’axre Yaang’aro (Looking Back), at the entrance of The Getty made me really hungry. The Gabrielino-Tongva tribe of Los Angeles Basin used abalone as food and their shells for tools. I like my abalone dried and braised in oyster sauce. It would be a challenge to eat an abalone this big, but I will do it for the right cause.
Fish plate from Paris
Boy o boy, would I love to eat a fish plate. I don’t know about the lizards or the snakes, but the crayfish and fish look very appetizing. I would definitely like to eat this more than a turkey sandwich! Please help! Where are the fish plates of today?
Bowl of lemons
Imagine how many cups of lemon tea I could make with this bowl of lemons. At least three I bet! Look at that ripe, yellow, flesh— freshly squeezed. A slightly bitter lemon rind also cuts the sweet and sour of the lemon’s natural sugars. And a sly offering of some pomegranates? Count me in! There is something about citrus that gets all my juices flowing. My stomach is turgling. The turkey is digesting.
Water Lily Pond
This would not taste like a turkey sandwich at all. It would be slightly fruity I think, but with a slight floral taste. Something light and airy like a macaron. A little meringue-y and hard to pin down. Flavor-wise, a mixture of blackberries and blueberries. Crispy at first, because of the paper, but soft and mushy once bitten into. Something a wizard would eat.
The Four Humors
There was an exhibit about blood at The Getty. And blood just so happens to be one of the four humors! They are: blood, yellow bile, black bile, and phlegm. Originating in Ancient Greece and believed by Medieval people, the humor system of understanding the body explained that these four liquids in the body must be in balance to prevent sickness. As a former sufferer of jaundice, I feel like I have to give a shout out to the humors. If I were to understand the humors as flavors (which they are apparently), the word humor is a translation of Greek χυμός, chymos (literally 'juice' or 'sap', metaphorically 'flavor'), I would probably say that blood is the least worst tasting one of the four. The liquids in our bodies are full of secrets, and all this discussion around liquids made me thirsty. I was craving a chai latte at this point of the day, but I refused to pay another $8 for it. All I get is bile.
An assortment of Greek and Roman statues
Crunchy and cold. Like chewing on ice cubes. They taste a little empty and they are difficult to swallow, but sure have a lot of substance. Eat it little by little or in one big bite. Slightly mineral and savory. The type of flavor a mountain a goat craves on a cliffside. Crunch crunch crunch.